When I sat down on the airplane on my way to another state, I decided to play “A Real Pain” as I heard positive things from both friends who have seen it and critics, as well as being recently nominated for various Oscars and already winning big in this award season. I did not expect to encounter one of the most realistic and heartbreaking depictions of grief accompanied by a showing of deep and almost unexplainable family dynamics.
“A Real Pain,” directed by Jesse Eisenberg, shows us two quite close cousins resembling almost as tight of a connection as brothers, joining a Jewish history trip in Poland to commemorate the memory of their late grandmother who was able to survive WWII and grew up in the same country. In this couple we can see quite striking differences, we have David Kaplan, played by Jesse Eisenberg, a man completely shy and introverted with one kid and a wife back home, sticking by the rules and just overall a reserved man, nothing alike Benji Kaplan, played by Kieran Culkin, who is extremely social even to points where it can be uncomfortable while hyper-connected to his emotions, thoughts and ideas.
The film resembles many of my favorite movies, such as “Past Lives” and “Aftersun,” where the main focus is the relationship between two characters, nothing crazy or flashy happening, just two people and their feelings. “A Real Pain” talks not only about grief and how these two cousins see each other, but also a story about heritage and privilege. Benji mentions feeling uncomfortable or even stupid at times, making the point of how can we do these travels where such large amounts of suffering happened: how can we as privileged individuals go and take these almost touristic attractions to places where so many souls passed? This is a quite interesting argument, and I believe there is no wrong side to the question, making the film such an amusing watch from that angle.
From the angle of community and relationship, there can be no more saddening story as the one of these two cousins. David has disconnected himself from all his emotions, with cousin Benji making at times, even though embarrassing, remarks of the past and how he wishes they could be those kids again. Both actors give extremely emotional performances, but Kieran Culkin takes the praise for a reason. He takes a character that could easily been recognized as an annoying individual to a much more complex and personal performance. We can tell from the small comments and the way he carries himself that he is not okay and makes a whole world of difference when trying to understand the boundaries of this friendship.
From someone who has siblings, this film opened my eyes and felt a lot more personal compared to someone who doesn’t have anyone in their family to have such a close brotherly relationship. The experience of sibling love, and how so many emotions can happen is something that if you have lived it, you understand it a lot better, and with that knowledge this film hits the right targets.
“A Real Pain” is now available on Hulu and would recommend it to anyone reading.
