Danielle Stone/Winonan
Dr. Rita Rahoi-Gilchrest of the communication studies department at Winona State first became interested in ‘mommy’ and ‘anti-mommy’ blogs when she saw a graphic which said “Baby, fix me a drink” next to a martini glass.
The graphic depicts the ‘momtini,’ a term derived from the practice of mothers taking their children to play dates and having a cocktail hour themselves at the same time. The graphic also shows a different style of mothering, which can be seen in ‘anti- mom’ blogs.
In her chapter, “Momtinis, Not Martyrs: Examining ‘Anti- Mom’ Blogs, Muted Groups, Standpoints, and the Struggle over Motherhood,” published in the upcoming book “Media Depictions of Brides, Wives, and Mothers,”Rahoi-Gilchrest discusses how blogging has become an important form of communication and socialization for women generally and mothers specifically. She delineates the differences in ‘traditional mommy’ blogs and ‘anti- mommy’ blogs, and how there are middle-of-the-road perspectives.
The genre of ‘mommy’ blogging has come from the increase in mothers blogging about their lives and daily routines. Traditional ‘mommy’ blogs focus on the joys of being a mother, often have pictures of the mother’s children, and are usually presented in a girlish fashion with cute fonts and numerous typographical errors, Rahoi-Gilchrest said.
On the other hand, “Anti- mom sites are hosted by women who openly argue with traditional expectations for mothers, especially stay- at-home moms. These women don’t claim to be perfect; they don’t have perfect children; and they don’t have perfect houses (and even some have cocktail hour, or ‘momtini time,’ during their kids’ play dates),” Rahoi- Gilchrest stated in her chapter.
“Media Depictions of Brides, Wives, and Mothers” examines how women are portrayed within the media, Rahoi-Gilchrest said. She became involved with writing a chapter for the book when author Alena Amaro Ruggerio sent word to the Feminist and Gender Studies Division of the National Communication Association.
One of the reasons that Rahoi-Gilchrest found the ‘mommy’ blogs interesting is because they hold a place in “the long history of women and friendly communication,” Rahoi-Gilchrest said. Rahoi- Gilchrest refers to the ‘mommy’ blog as the “electronic sewing circle” because it provides a safe place for women to find a sense of community in today’s technology-savvy world.
“The motivation for the creation of women’s blogs in the first place appears to have been the need to talk about experiences that are not expressed in everyday discourse,” Rahoi-Gilchrest stated in the chapter.
Throughout the chapter she discusses how the media causes a “digital divide” between mothering styles through the conflict between the ‘traditional mommy’ and ‘anti-mom’ blogs and how the practice of blogging fails to represent the perspectives of the many women who do not have access or leisure time to be able to contribute their views in this medium.
Rahoi-Gilchrest said that for mothering, “there are no rules; you make your own.” She explained how she believes that every woman must create her own version of what motherhood is; and she must do it by taking knowledge from her past and using her beliefs.
“Media Descriptions of Brides, Wives, and Mothers” covers many other topics: ancient archetypes of mothers, patriarchal Christian ideas, Sarah Palin in the media and many other subjects in conjunction with women’s roles in the media. The book will be available for purchase in October through Lexington Press.
Contact Danielle at [email protected]
