Pisces (Feb. 19 to March 20)

You are going to lose your house key. Sorry.

Aries (March 21 to April 19)

You know that bucket of ice cream you want to eat all by yourself on a Wednesday night? Do it. Live your best life. Treat yo’ self!

Taurus (April 20 to May 20)

Keep your eyes out for a big opportunity coming your way. You will soon have a great opportunity to better yourself and your current situation.

Gemini (May 21 to June 20)

Thursday is “Be Humble” day, you should participate in that.

Cancer (June 21 to July 22)

All you need to know this week is that Captain America would be disappointed in you.

Leo (July 23 to Aug. 22)

That big assignment coming up? Don’t worry about it. You will do great on it because you are great.

Virgo (Aug. 23 to Sept. 22)

Your date this week with that SUPER cute person from your class? I would cancel that. Unless you are into embarrassing date stories.

Libra (Sept. 23 to Oct. 22)

Make sure you call home and tell your pet that you love them.

Scorpio (Oct. 23 to Nov. 21)

Your honesty with everyone in your life will be rewarded later this week.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22 to Dec. 21)

Your stress levels have been high lately. Take this weekend to de-stress and eat a bowl of your favorite cereal.

Capricorn (Dec. 22 to Jan. 19)

President’s Day may be over, but I’m still president of your fan club.

Aquarius (Jan. 20 to Feb. 18)

The only thing that can bring you happiness this week is listening to “Africa” by Toto non-stop. It is a 24/7 bop.