Aquarius (Jan. 20 to Feb. 18)

Nothing important is going to happen. Might as well stay in bed!

Pisces (Feb. 19 to March 20)

That weird kid in your 8 a.m. class is going to eat their boogers in class. Go and watch!

Aries (March 21 to April 19)

It’s time to Treat Yo’ Self! Buy yourself something pretty or go away on a trip!

Taurus (April 20 to May 20)

Don’t worry the Vikings won’t make it to the Super Bowl today either.

Gemini (May 21 to June 20)

Your mom called and said you need to call her! She misses you!

Cancer (June 21 to July 22)

Nsync is not going to get back together again and there is nothing you can do about it. It’s time to say bye, bye, bye!

Leo (July 23 to Aug. 22)

A bird is going to come and smack you in the face when you are walking to class.

Virgo (Aug. 23 to Sept. 22)

Life tip: saying “Barabra Streisand” will most likely cause a dance party. Use it wisely.

Libra (Sept. 23 to Oct. 22)

You will witness a group of drunks standing outside yelling their favorite Spongebob moments at each other.

Scorpio (Oct. 23 to Nov. 21)

When life gives you lemons make orange juice and make everyone wonder how you did it.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22 to Dec. 21)

You will slip and fall on ice walking across campus.

Capricorn (Dec. 22 to Jan. 19)

You know that milk that is sitting in the back of your fridge that you are hoping is still going to be good? It’s really time to throw it out.