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Dear Elizabeth,

I have been incredibly homesick recently. Luckily I have been able to drive home during the weekends, but I feel like this has been preventing me from having a true college experience. Family is very important, to me so is there a way to properly distance myself?

Sincerely, Homesick

College is about independence and leaving the comfort of your childhood home, but there is nothing wrong with being homesick. Where we grow up is intertwined with the people we become, and it makes sense to miss it every once in a while. If you feel like your commuting has prevented your immersion into the college lifestyle then it may be time to set some boundaries.

If this has become a part of your weekly routine, then I would try to slowly spread out the visits, so you do not feel as much temptation to go back every weekend. There are also plenty of other ways to keep the connection between family members.

The telephone is great thing to use when you just want to check in with everybody. You could even trade in one of your trips home for a nice long talk on the phone with a parent or a sibling. You may not have the same face-to-face contact, but it still helpful to hear someone’s voice.

Skype, or any other video calling system, is also really helpful for keeping in touch, especially if you miss the face-to-face communication that is not available when talking on the phone. You will still be able to talk to someone and see them, and it can help you save some gas money.

Even though it may take a longer time, sending letters is also a nice way to talk to someone.  For some people it is easier to communicate things with writing, and it is always fun to get things in the mail.

If your parents have been pushing this traveling schedule, then it may be time to have a talk. Leaving for college is not only hard to adjust for students, but it is also hard on the parents. It is especially harder for parents when the first or last child goes off to college.  As the youngest child in my family, I know my parents had a particularily hard time watching me go off to college. You need to let your parents know these trips might be hurting your college experience.  Even if your parents have had a hard time adjusting to your departure they will understand.

In the end, it is all up to you. You mentioned that family is important, so it is a good idea to not completely cut them off.  You will eventually figure out the best way to keep in touch with your family.

I can tell you have realized that these college experiences are important to you. Trust me when I say you will find the perfect balance between family and college.